Saturday, January 06, 2007

A six pack for brains

Alright, no Happy New Year post from me, no nothing. I've half-written half a dozen posts but finished none. Well, half a dozen is six of one, you know what I mean? And contrary to the Gumpism, stupid is as stupid is.

We've had a glorious week of adults only in the crazy blue house on the hill, and despite total insanity at work, I've been able to enjoy some quality time with my Luther. Last night was no exception, but the quality was in the viewers and not at all in the television. Ack!

Ack, I say!

We idly watched a little bit of a show called, "1 vs. 100." It's a game show. One contestant is pitted against a 100-person "mob." It's not really clear how they're actually "against" each other, since the contestant can call on the mob for assistance... But it has Bob Saget as the host, so I don't suppose we should expect it to make sense.

I am surprised I didn't actually break anything while watching this little bit of this show. Rather bizarrely animated blond contestant (she did this wild, full-of-elbows air-drumming thing when she was happy -it gave me nightmares, it really did) is asked, "how many six packs would you have to have for 99 beers on the wall?"

Now, she didn't have to provide an exact answer or anything. She just had to pick one of three:
More than 15
Less than 15
Exactly 15


Her response? She said it was a "strange question." What the hell is so strange about arithmetic?!

And then it got worse. It turned into this BIZARRE comedy of horrors. "I don't even drink beer." She asked the mob for help. And 20% or something of the stupid mob got it wrong. "I only drink wine."



In the time it took to gasp and giggle and squeal over this "strange question," she could have counted it out.

So Happy New Year, my odd little group of readers. This year, we will accept even greater stupidity than the last. We will actually pay people to go on television and react to simple arithmetic as if you cannot know the answer if you didn't "learn it" from somebody else. We will no longer build knowledge, create understanding, find or figure. Nope.

We'll ask the mob.

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