Growing up

One thing the Web is piss-poor at, in my opinion, is envisioning the future. It's become quite like TV in this respect. It works well at connecting people with the things they already know, and it's not quite so good at connecting them with new things, things that they didn't expect.

My example: The boy-child living in my house.

Now, Wil has this Web address, as does his father, and so I mean it in quite practical terms that I mean no disrespect. In fact, the opposite of disrespect: I respect the fact that Wil's life is not like that of similarly-aged people of previous generations. Or perhaps better described, similarly-aged people of the same "class" of previous generations.

I'm sure there were young people of very wealthy parents as far back as... forever... that had trouble figuring out how to motivate their children. And what I'm learning from obvserving Wil is that the children likely were not oblivious to this problem. In fact, when I think back to my own teenage years, I was not oblivious to this problem. People around me seemed to have ambitions. I was not at all clear on how to get some of my own. Wealthy parents' children must always be a problem, obviously, because it's hard to argue that they can't be supported. But the other thing that many of you will have already experienced (yourself and/or in raising your own) is that it is difficult for ANY child in this day and age (and society) to really BELIEVE that they can't be supported indefinitely. I mean, they've been supported THEIR WHOLE LIVES. How can anything else make sense?

So here we are. A few years ago, Wil said he wanted to get a job, instead of bowling. So he quit bowling.

Recently, I had occasion to ask him why he wanted to learn to drive. He answered that he wanted to learn to drive because he knew that it was something he was going to need to know.

And that's so freakin' significant! Something he knew he would need... versus something he DOES need, let alone something he WANTS.

Motivation is such a BEAR, isn't it? Because really, how do you do ANYTHING that you don't WANT to do in some small place in your brain?

So I'm left pondering... why would this young man, all of 18 years old, want to learn to drive, find a job, save money, move out, make his own meals, make his own plans, live his own life? I mean... it all goes contrary to how his life has ALWAYS BEEN, and it goes contrary to what he's being given RIGHT NOW. When you boil it all down, it'd be kinda reasonable to think him an idiot if he wanted to do those things. I mean, WHAT FOR?

We come back to the Internet because, before the question about driving, I did a little poking around for advice on how to teach driving. And most of the driving-teaching advice pointed to the "fact" that a teenager thinks only about what they want to do with the car, all the freedom they'll obtain, and the problem of teaching them is in bringing them down to the actual details and responsibilities of driving. I couldn't find one bit of advice for trying to help a young potential driver who doesn't want to drive, who isn't all that interested, and who is so aware of the potential threats that he's afraid of getting into the car.

I didn't learn to drive, when I was a teenager, because it didn't make any SENSE. It was scary AND it was useless. We didn't HAVE a car, and I could get everywhere by transit and walking. Later, I added biking.

But I wanted money. Oh boy. I was, still, delayed by my father being quite generous in supporting me as a teenager --I got to shop for my own clothes, on a bit of a budget, and travel and do things that I wanted to do. But I wanted MY OWN money, and I'm not sure how I got that urge, but I did. So I got a job.

So what do you do when an eighteen-year-old hasn't got really expensive interests, gets a ton of money from distant relatives at Christmasses and birthdays, and gets a meager allowance as well? WHY, IF HE HAD ANY BRAINS AT ALL, WOULD HE WANT A JOB?

Pffffffffft. He wouldn't. It would be unreasonable for him to want one. Wil's a smart young man and he knows he will need a job. But flat-out, that's not the same thing as wanting one.

I have an idea. But I don't think there's a chance in hell his Dad would go for it.

Still... the whole thing is perplexing, is all. I mean, I'm trying to get motivated to write a screenplay, work out, go to a doctor to get my feet fixed, learn a language, and work harder at my job. And I really, really, REALLY know that knowing these things "need to be done" is quite different...

...from wanting to do them.

P.S. In reviewing this, I see I am the same old bekbek after all. I remember saying, as a young teenager, that I didn't want to learn a language. I wanted to HAVE LEARNED it. Now, at 41 years old in a few days... I want to HAVE DONE all these things, or have them at that lovely point where it is all fun in tweaking and finishing up and celebrating accomplishment. Getting from here to there? Pffft. See you in another 30 years...

Mondays are fun days

Sometimes the trivial things are worth mentioning. Trivial = TV.

Last year, I planned to watch several new shows as they were launched in September-October. Of all of them, the only one I continued to enjoy was Pushing Daisies. The show does have some charm, though it got a bit tiresome by the end of the season, being essentially too cute all the time. The main character can bring the dead back to life with a touch... but a second touch kills them again. So he doesn't pet his dog, who died once. And he doesn't kiss his girlfriend, who is supposed to be dead.

Meanwhile, two other shows snuck up on me. How I missed them in my search for new shows, I'll never understand. I absolutely adore Chuck. He's a nice, "ordinary" guy that works at what's obviously a Best Buy store, but he has a bunch of spy stuff embedded in his brain, so by force of circumstance he is an unprepared and unwilling spy. It's exceptionally well crafted, in my opinion - and plain fun. Then there's The Big Bang Theory, an unassuming little half-hour sitcom that doesn't deviate from the sitcom formula... except that the main characters are geek geniuses, with the obligatory hot girl living across the hall. I ought not to like it, but I do. I really do.

And then halfway through the year, with a great deal of fanfare, we got another new show: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I thought this was a terrible idea, and I was sure it would disgust me, but how could I not watch? And upon watching, I was really distressed with how skinny the actress is (playing Sarah), which really shouldn't be as distracting as I found it to be. And really, how can a drama about cyborgs and time travel be a serious contender? Well, sorry, but dammit... I like it! Phooey, so there, etc.

So this year, Pushing Daisies is back, but I'm not really interested. It's run its course, in my mind. And nothing new that's been announced has really caught my interest, unless possibly My Own Worst Enemy. We'll see about that one. But that leaves us with what? Three shows from last year that I want to watch this year: Big Bang (CBS), Chuck (NBC), and Terminator (FOX).

Just the three shows.

And that's not all. But first, there's more. WE DON'T EVEN HAVE CABLE. We decided to save the money, so we have a nice antenna. Remember what antennas are? Here's a clue:


And with our antenna and our new digital conversion boxes (because U.S. TV broadcasting is going all-digital early next year), we get a perfect, clear signal (I'm convinced it's actually better than what we used to get with cable) on all three channels necessary for watching my three shows! WOOT!

So here's the fall schedule. Pay attention.

Monday, 8 p.m., Terminator (FOX).
Monday, 8 p.m., Chuck (NBC).
Monday, 8 p.m., Big Bang (CBS).

Anybody see a problem???

Boxes are for sleeping

There is still a bit of unpacking and organizing and optimizing to be done in other parts of the house, but in terms of actual stacks of boxes, we are down to just one final stack, in Luther's and my bedroom.



The Simplicity-cat is not, strictly speaking, allowed in our bedroom, so she has to sneak... but in the absence of any other tall stacks of boxes, she just had to get in there, clearly!



And, for perhaps no other reason than to prove (after that last photo) that I can at least sometimes take a photo that is in focus... Here's something that Luther brought home from the beach one morning:



I am reminded that we have yet to find a really good sushi restaurant here. We may have to go all the way to Tampa! That, or... fish more of these fellows out before they make it to an unhealthy beach landing.

The curtain came out great!

Wetwork

Here we are in July already, and Luther's son is due to join us in just a few days. This means the pressure is on, now, to get some non-functional things functional. This includes somewhat unfortunate changes to one of the nicest rooms in the house: the main bathroom. This lovely little house has been perfectly set up for a couple whose children are grown up and out, and in Luther's case the "up and out" is only 50% complete at this time. The other 50%... is going to need to take a shower now and then, and the beautiful main bathroom is only set up for baths.

Normally, not a big deal. Who hasn't added a shower head to a bath before?! But in this case, there's also NO TILE. Yup, that's right. Oh yes, and there's the added factor that our old house still hasn't sold... so money is even tighter than usual.


Nice, isn't it?

Because of the window, we had already decided not to tile. We'd thought about covering the whole thing with one of those fiberglass surrounds, as ugly as they are, "for the time being"... but this would be a custom job and even if we did the work ourselves, not cheap. So I ordered a shower curtain ring from a shop in Ohio, with the idea that we'd just run a curtain the whole way around. That'll work!

Except...

Except there's still going to be water hitting the wall behind the tap. We insist on having shower handsets, and everybody who'll be living here is used to being able to use that feature, so it won't just be random spray that hits the wall, but also dripping hands reaching for the shower head. That wall is just going to get wet. Ultimately, I think the right thing will be to tile that wall and corner, in something nice that matches the minimal tile in the rest of the room. Curtains can be draped aside artfully when the room is not regularly being used for showers, and then they'll hang down again for showers, with the tile wall where water is likely to strike. Right now, though, there's no time and no money for a tiling job.

What to do? We thought about waterproof paint, but such a thing doesn't appear to exist, at least not for applying over existing paint on sheetrock (or whatever is under there - I'm ignorant of such things). And we could get a really cheap plastic surround kit and just put up part of it... but the cheaper they get, the uglier they get, and I don't know that we can bring ourselves to do it.

Other projects are underway. This weekend I did a whole "killdisk" thing on our old desktop machine, so that today or tomorrow I can figure out where to take it to sell or donate. We don't need it and frankly don't have anywhere to put it in this new house! And I also somewhat refurbished my old, old laptop so that it can act as our "legacy machine"--because we've had occasions where our work called for older versions of software, or at least being able to build screensnaps for teaching somebody with older software how to do something. The little laptop can stay tucked away, with just a little footprint, only to be pulled out when needed.

It may also be a handy Internet-access station for guests (hint, hint), provided they're patient with the slow machine.

We're also making some changes to what will be Wil's room. It is a really cool room in what used to be a carport or garage, and one whole wall is closets. Right now, the wide center section is set up with a wire clothes-closet system. We're putting a clothes rod in one of the side sections, so that both sides will be the clothes closets and the center section... can become Wil's "entertainment station." We'll run power into it, and he can set up his TV and all of his game systems and games, and then hopefully when he's not using them, he'll actually be able to close the doors and have the room almost instantly in order again. We'll see how that goes...

...but you can see, at least, that we're not getting a lot of help from Simplicity, who has discovered the little study nook in the corner of the room.

All tied up and everywhere to go

Yesterday, Luther and I went out to Clearwater Beach in the afternoon, to play in a bit of storm surf and get the Honda's seats wet. The sky was blue, the sand was soft, the water was warm, and the Honda with its roof stowed in the trunk is a sweet ride.

When we got home to the Clearwater house, that poor Simplicity cat was in her spot at the front window, on the sagging futon, in quite a bad state. She had somehow managed to get her squirrel-on-a-string-on-a-stick toy wrapped around her neck, something that can only have gotten worse as she tried to escape the heavy stick, dragging it and squirrel from the back of the house to that spot in the front, where she waited for rescue. We have since taken the squirrel off the stick. Imagine if she'd had this accident occur while we were away on a longer trip!



Afterward, she hid. I think she had hurt a toe or something, but there is also her pride to consider. This morning she is in better spirits, and it is the bekbek that is a little blue. Luther has left once again for Georgia. ~sigh~

So on that note, the update: I now live in Florida. It is lovely. A good deal of our household things are still in Georgia. Luther graduated from college last week, but his son will not be finished high school until the very end of the month. So as a household, we are living in two places at once --me on a futon on the floor in Florida, but with an almost-complete (and looking lovely) office; Luther with the bed and the wireless network in Georgia. Another three weeks or so and we should be able to do the rest of the move, but of course the really big day, when we have well and truly finished with Georgia and live completely in Florida... will not happen until we have sold the house.

Want it? It's looking awfully nice these days... come on, you know you want to!

I like screen doors

I
Like
Screen doors
And I cannot lie
Those other brothers can't deny

Er...

So here I am in Florida. I arrived Thursday, was shocked on Friday to realize I'd only been here for a day, got paid in the mail at my new house (and did the corresponding happy dance with bad singing accompaniment), got more work via Fedex, locked myself out, paid somebody to break the lock, replaced the lock, went for walks, discovered my bike is all but broken, and made a surprisingly nice chicken tikka masala, albeit with too much onion. And I sweated. I sweated lots. It was hot.

Then yesterday the temperature dropped, so much so that I left all the windows open last night, which led to my waking and prowling like a bad security guard several times during the night, but ultimately was a good choice because the house is nice and cool and I didn't run the A/C the whole time.

Today is gorgeous. In the 80s outside, but still getting there inside, all the windows open again. And yet I feel shut in.

I like screen doors. I want a lockable screen door at the very least on the back bedroom door (there is a door to the outside in the walk-in closet of the master bedroom at the very back of the house) and on the front door. It just seems like that'd make it feel more like I were enjoying the outdoors while I'm inside, working.

That is all.

Facing my mortality

A strange thought today:

Simplicity is finally starting to relax after the move. There she is, sleeping in the early evening, purring when she's petted, yawning and stretching. I said to her, "I'm not moving you again. You'll grow old and die in this house."

And then I felt tears come to my eyes. And in a few moments I realized that I was sad not for the cat, but for me. I fully expect to move again, so it's not that. But I am on that side of my life, now, where the plans are at least in part about where I'll be when I stop making plans.

How odd, how beautiful, how sad.

Of course, it is worth noting that I am melancholy to begin with. My Luther is more than six hours away! Yuck. Got to fix that.

The house is marvelous, yadda yadda. More later.

Moving Day 1.0

Moving Day 1.0 is complete. Luther and I spent several hours loading the U-haul truck on Friday, spent the evening in utter amazement at how tired a person can be, and got up the next morning to spend a day driving and then unpacking the same truck. Needless to say, I am sporting several new bruises - and am happy as a clam in a garlic cream sauce! Er... well, happier, really.

The house is so perfect for us that I am actually feeling homesick now. We returned to Georgia on Sunday, since there is work to be done on the house here, and I didn't feel good about leaving all of that to Luther and Wil. I will spend the next few days working (yay, I have work!) and working (boo, I need to finish painting the bathroom), and then we'll have Moving Day 1.1: I will pack up my little del Sol with my work stuff and Simplicity and head on back home to the boxes and the futons and the gorgeous lawn that needs mowing.

Today, I am leaving a comment on the blog kept by Cathy, one of the previous owners. Honestly, it tickled me pink to find her blog in the first place, and I am actually envious of hers and Kimball's new adventure even while I am in the midst of enjoying mine and Luther's. I remember once I was standing in a line in a CIBC bank in Toronto on pay day, and I was planning to deposit my check, and the fellow in front of me was planning to make a withdrawal, and I wondered why we couldn't just cut out the middle man and exchange our moneys right there on the spot. Sometimes we all find ourselves trading places with strangers and feel a little connection that is so quickly lost to the realities of daily life. Wouldn't it be nice to stop and have a drink together?

Moving Day 2.0 is TBA. Luther and Wil both have to finish school first! I hope we can find a buyer. And I admit, despite all my complaints about middle Georgia, I will miss this house - even while I am happily enjoying the new one.

Pictures later. I left my photo upload cable in Florida!

Utter foolishness, and a new home

Today I spent an inordinate amount of time on Google Maps, using the "Street View" feature to travel virtually along some streets in our new neighborhood. I am eager to see the house and the water and the local stores.

Then I suddenly realized what I was doing and how utterly foolish I was being. I mean, we're moving there. We now own the house (and accompanying debt). We'll actually be there in person this weekend, and in another week I will be living there full time. I will be able to actually WALK on those streets.

Yes, we bought the house. We are moving to Clearwater-Dunedin, Florida. Woo hoo!

Playing house

Luther and I are back from Florida with a little tale to tell. One day, were looking at some houses. The next day, we were buying one.

We have a contract. Having been through this only once before, I am still hesitant to say that the house is ours, but presumably it will be so, and fairly soon. Now my life is supposed to be all about selling the house I am in right now, but it is difficult. A million times a day, my mind goes to the gorgeous little home near the water, a good six hours or so away from here.

Another thing about not feeling the house is "ours" has to do with the sellers. We met them at the house, and they were fairly marvelous. Not only was their pride and care showing in every corner of the house itself, but they also showed it in the sparkle of their eyes, and the willingness to laugh with a couple of strangers in their kitchen.

It is really nice knowing that, unlike all the other houses we saw, knowing more about the previous owners in this case only makes the house seem cooler.