One: I was never really afraid of storms in Toronto, but now I have to be afraid. We reviewed tornado procedures at work this afternoon, and then I drove home with clouds so low they looked like they were coming right at me as I crested each subtle hill on the freeway. Brooding, disturbed poltergeists formed and malformed and deformed all around me, and the rain, thankfully light, had me craning forward in my seat, as if that would somehow help me see better through the muddy wetness swiped by windshield wipers between me and the road. And I thought, what if a tornado happens now? I regularly come home clenched up from head to toe, shaking and stressed because a storm kept me from seeing where I was going (and made me invisible to others going the same way). How do I suppose I would respond to the sight of a tornado -not just a funnel, which I've already seen here, but a full-on furious freight-train devil? Driving in wind and rain and probably hail as well, there's no way I'd be able to tell if it was coming for me or running away, if it (or the inevitable flying cows) would cross my path or just pace me as I made my way home. I get nervous about pulling over to the side of the road. What would I do? Would I just drive my car into the whirlwind and hope the Wizard turns out to be sexy?
I should put it in a story. And since when was I putting things in stories, anyway?
Two: When considering the purchase of a residential property, confirm that high-speed internet is available. It is, here -but I've seen others less than fortunate on this issue. But equally important, perhaps, find out what kind of asshole trees are hanging over your driveway. Nuts are bad for windshields and dainty little paint jobs. Just fyi and all.
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4 comments:
I regularly come home clenched up from head to toe
i hate driving period, but i REALLY hate that kind of driving.
anne--
Anne, I love driving. I just like being able to see where I'm going. Oh yes, and it would help if everybody else would please stay out of my way.
Jason, the crazy thing is that we have a couple of huge hickory nut trees, and those nuts are big and coming down from a greater height, but it's the acorn that put a giant crack right across the windshield of our van. Sheesh!
The hickories make the dents, though. And at a certain point each year, there's a fine mist of nut particles coming down, almost as solid as rain, from the hundreds of squirrels munching away in the branches up above. Messy as hell!
when i went for a walk last night i thought people were shooting at me.
nuts. just the nuts.
anne
Yes, dear, we know you are.
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